Once Upon a Time...

there was this guy, and then there was this girl.
he was the only one she spent her time with on a joint school holiday, skiing in italy.
the whole trip was amazing, because of him. and to her luck he liked her too.
kiss and tell, no. but kiss in the bedroom of hers is what happened.
you could've said it took off from there but i think it was when he asked me out. he was the only one thats ever asked me out. properly! "what if i were to ask you out now, what would you say?" she said "i'd say yes" :)
:') the perfect moment. the best moment in my whole life. i promise you that.
the rest of the holiday was just total bliss. i wish it had never ended. that evening he told me he loved me. and so freaked out i said i love you too. i didn't know whether i'd said the right thing considering it was that day we only started going out.
but the flight home proved the fact i knew that i was indeed, in love with him even after such a short time.
the flight home proved difficult to cope because me and him got seperated, he needed leg room (he's 6 ft 4)and there was a space available but the teachers were sitting in the seats next to him... which sucked. so i had to sit behind him which was ok. i sat down and within the time of taking off and getting a good altitude i was crying because i couldn't be next to him. i held his hand a lot the time and it was lovely but yes thats how i knew i was in love with him...by having such a hard time dealing with not being able to sit next to him.
we both got home and were in different coaches which wasn't so bad tbh. but yes we arrived home back in derby at my high school, and our parents picked us up...we both had stars in our eyes. his mum asked "so how was it?" he replied "it was fantastic" or something along those lines.... but yeah his mum could tell, she told me sometime later when being at his house <3 bloody true love i call it :P
i really loved him, i really LOVE him. i put this on facebook and i want it to stay there.
:
I'm Rather muchly in love with a guy thats been there for me from the very begining. He always seems to make me laugh, smile and give me butterflys.
i can honestly say he's the best person in my life that i know!
i'd trust him with my life, i've given him my heart already and i would like to stay with him forever in his arms ♥
Through Thick & Thin You Are My Everything Jack Dring ♥ i love you and always will xxx
:') the best times of my life with him.
and now look where its all gone, from my past, i know i've never been the most sensible of people but i changed for the better, i changed for him. i dont think he even gave me a real reason :/ i still love him because of that. because he didn't have any liable reason to break up with me. :(
they found that the summer offered amazing events, the spring of june offered us a brilliant enhance to the love we felt and it felt as though the days would never end. or atleast we didn't want them to. i'll never forget those days where i didn't want him to leave me because my world would come crashing down and it now has.
he said we'd get married and travel :'( boy i miss you saying that <3
"i love you and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you" the pain of reading that from a long time ago.
i wish it would all come back because truely i miss you and truly i love you.
come back to me <3 i meant everything that i said, i dont ever go back on any of my promises. i want us back together, we were good together. :'(
ciao xoxo

Everday shit happens part 2

remember when i said there was no worse feeling than being rejected from the grammar school. well now there is. three/four weeks after breaking up with JD and my hearts nowhere to be found. i feel like tomorrow's just another day, not like before when i had the optimism of nothing could go wrong because things are perfect. not anymore. the one person in my life that cheered me up by being there not only as a friend but as my boyf too is gone. and now i can't get him back. its over and it feels as though i've woken up in a bad dream and i can't get out.
everyday i wake up and wonder why such a great and strong relationship ended in such a short time. its heartbreaking and its happeneing to me.
all my friends are here supporting me but i fear that only the person that i thought i knew is the one to break this misery not by asking me back or anything but by just me and him talking possibly. recently it doesn't even feel like a friendship anymore. it feels as though he doesn't care and wants nothing to do with me, because lets face it why else did he break up with me?
it hurts because i dont know how he feels about any of this, we dont talk anymore. and he said we'd be friends. i feel like we're enemies.
nothing can begin to explain my sorrow. its only hit me this past week how much i miss him and wish he was still there for me and that none of this happened. i still dont udnerstand why it happened he didn't give me any reason for the breakup.
but yeah im thanking my friends now for looking out for me. and for wanting me to be happy. tbh i just want to be the person i was when i was with JD
Ciao xoxo

for now...

hey guys letting you know that im not gonna be bloging tonight because im going to see david gibb with mr biggen and a few friends tonight :) and my mother wouldn't let me watch the episode of being erica i was gonna blog on so i haven't yet got all my notes... if you want to know why and what exactly im on about...watch the last being erica that was on tv from 9 til 10 last monday and you'll get the drift of what im gonna blog about (:
and no for anyone who's already watched it, its NOT, i repeat NOT about lesbianism.. its about love (:
i'ma gonna be blogging tomoro morning and not to mention changing my colour scheme thanks to shrimpdude (:
have a good night everybody enjoy you're saturday nights ;)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ciao

Poooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I dont think i've ever been as upset and hurt as i was yesterday.
Friday night: got kinda drun kand was sick four times in the next day.
Saturday Night: PO'C bday and had an amazing time with mudmaker :L
and during saturday JD and me fell out.....AGAIN! another fucking arguement over him being upset for me moving on to quickly.... :/ i didn't tel him so he got a tad upset :/
and now his friends are saying i cheated on him... joy...
more of a bigger update tonight (:
Ciao xoxo

When People told me it was special. i find it ironic from where i'm looking.

JD and i are no longer together. shocker i know. it was perfect, but apparently in my eyes only. a month ago he thought he loved me less and then two weeks later after changing his mind the day after BAM! smack in the face from lover boy. i can't say it was a surprise mind you i felt as though it was coming which is why i kept asking if "we" were ok? the new york trip for him did nothing for our relationship not like in norway and he was in france. it turns out it wasn't meant to be. oh well. C'est la vie JD.
all i can do now is move upwards and onwards. to newer and better things. let me put it this way. i haven't been properly single since i was 13 and now i get the chance to be the person i wasn't and could never be before. the new me is here and is ready to take a chance at being the best at life she can, not thats its a game but i'm pretty sure i know how to play it :)
anyhow the latest updates on these few months events;
one. ofcourse is the breaking up of JD and me. like i said no surprise. i'm hurt yes but to be honest i'd be worried if i wasn't :') right now i dont know how to feel. i guess it's natural to let go slowly and surely so that nothing can get in your mind about having negative or insane thoughts. yes i loved him and i might still now, but like i said very confusing on how i feel. :/ sucksville.
two. i've fallen out with someone at college... ergh another "you've been saying shit about me behind my back" i really dont know how to react on this one because lets face it i'm not going to get in the way if she believes that i've said something. its best to just leave it at that and move on or wait til things cool down. of course i've tried apologising even if i haven't done anything.
three. I have now found an amazing new friend through my bffl. TW (: he's ginger, tall and looks like prince harry i can say he's great to talk to when i have a problem and he was the one getting stuck with all the talk from me after me and JD split.
he's will be an eternally new edition to the list of my best friends.
four. RG's birthday surprise the photoshoot planned out quite well even if it was a disaster beforehand :P "came home tried to unlock the door and it wouldn't budge" stood outside for two hours an hour and a half before the photoshoot.....i was thinking holy fuck. but it turned out alright in the end we got there had an amazing time and now we're viewing the photos in a week's time :) on the way home i might had we ran into a field and got stuck but MR STV came and helped us. he got more for what he was bargaining for i tell you! we went on a date the next night ;) you gotta love fate.

ciao xoxo