I'm going to college tomorrow.
A level's at last and finally able to do the things i love most. or almost all of them. when i set out to go to the grammar school i never expected to be turned down.
my grades weren't enough and so i didn't get in. i settled with going to joseph wright a derby college in the city centre, bonus; my best friends going.
i never expected this to have much impact on me but unfortunately it did and so far its hurt. all in all i believe that when one door closes, two doors open. i am now going to study psychology and english literature. also another thing that maybe, because i'm going elsewhere is that i've discovered i want to be a writer.
Not a poet. or a lyricist. a writer. i may not be very good at spelling but i know i can learn and look in the dictionary ;)
i'm sticking with taking psychology though because it is something thats interested me for years and its been a dream for a couple years now to take it at university.
recently i've noticed that because of the top ranking of universities are almost next to impoosible for me to get in...e.g. oxford..Cambridge and birmingham. because i also know someone on facebook that has just finished her A levels also interested in psychology wanted to get into birmingham... she got denied because her grades weren't good enough they were all A's and one B... she took FIVE a levels. so thats birmingham out of the picture. just because she got one a level below their standard. i've been looking into moving to london for uni. its almost like being at home in edinburgh. full of excitement and you dont know where you're ctually going considering you've been there once or twice. it can be hard to understand why i feel quite scared about not getting into uni. because all i've ever wanted is to go the full way. i know i'm not AMAZINGLY clever but everyone should have their chance to learn. even if i dont have to go to uni straight away i could always do uni afterwards.
JD has guts. because what he is doing is amazing. he has so much on his plate and yet he manages to keep him about hiself. i couldn't do it. i wouldn't be able to cope. we were talking tonight i couldn't understand why he had said no to something. but when he explained i realised how selfish and idiotic i was. trying to make him do something when he was very busy. i understand and know now that i really shouldn't pry when someone says no. it's given me a bigger thought on how lucky i am to only have to please myself because my mother is normally happy with what i achieve most of the time. to end my conclusion i believe that one day i will be happy wih what i end up doing in life. jsut as long as i know where i'm going and what i'm aiming for.
this piece of writing was inspired by JD but mostly of meeting and talkign to a complete stranger (women) on the bus home (:
thank you xxxx
