its the third day now since me and chris split up. its probably the worst thing to feel knowing that he's doubting if he wants to be with me or not. i'm trying not to care but all i want is him.
whats going through my mind is worry after worry whether i will ever earn his trust back. and i'm trying my hardest. i want to make sure he can trust me again so i'm trying to keep things slow.
single life is awful. i changed my facebook on monday, three guys straight away started chatting me up. ERGH i hate it!!
its horrible. i want one thing and its to be in a relationship who looks at me like no one other. someone who i can care for. someone i can be in the arms of and finally be that one special person in someone's life. all that was with chris but what can i say these three days apart (kind of) have been amazing with him. just seeing him (yes in that way), is amazing.
-giggling in westfield while food fighting together
-finding a secret spot that he's never known about
-watching a new film in the library
-and just genearally having an amazing time.
he is incredible. it makes me laugh when i look at myself and then him, why does he like me?
from one day to the next i'm worrying most of all what he's thinking of this situation i know a few of our friends know about it but tbh i wish they didn't...
not because i dont want to announce how much i really ove him but because i wanted something special to happen for me and him not just in the way of friends but so that we'd get back together. nothing is garaunteed and all i can think of is that it wont happen, i'm so afraid he wont want me like that ever again.
right now, i'm sat at home writing this while sat on my bed. happpily pondering thoughts going round in my head with the tv on and soon i'm going to start my homework. with the whole christopher situation i want to embrace what happens now. forget about the future (the thing i always seem to plan on) and focus on the present. a little something for you all;
yesterday is history,
tomorrow is the mystery,
today is a gift,
thats why its called the present♥
