ok..."UPDATE!"

right well here's my 411..
my brothers in portugal with his father
i'm leaving tomoro for my dad's wedding,,,in canterbury.
BB is trying to spilt JD and me up plus its made me furious.
and because me and JD have been spedning so much time together i've felt somewhat less special or we both have felt things seem less special when we've been spedning so much time together.
a relationship should be special and full of happy times. because i worry so much about things he hasn't said or sometimes what he has said. but never did i suspect that i'd not have anything to talk to him about. its because i've told him everything. because we've noticed that now just before it was too late, i know now that a gf or bf should be the person that isn't spoken to all the time. they should be the person that when they feel they miss them or want to talk to them they're always there to listen and have the special convo's with. when we talked everyday all day about everything and its then turned to small talk...its become lacking in satisfaction. so now these holidays will remain missing him but thats what will make us stronger. four days is all i may have left to see him but that also will bring us closer and make those days to us feel longer and symbolic. make us treasure them for the long three weeks that i know will take a while to finish but i'll know he loves me and will be missing me just as much, maybe more. never again will i have to worry. i love you JD.... i will look forward to our next few times together xxx

Falling into that beautiful thing called love...

(Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-le-without-each-other love.)

Attraction, FLIRTATION, euphoria, Doubt, The truth (the longer the better)

...And so you dance around it. You draw it out. You tease towards love.
This is pure physical poetry. Its the thril of cummunicating by give and take, the simple charm of tugging at anouther heart and waiting (hoping) for a response.
It's the improbably joyous celebration of going absolutely nowhere for a long, long time... all in the anticipation that you're actually on your way (slowly, tiptop-ingly) to somewhere truly marvellous...
i never stop falling in love...

Shit, shit. Shit!

Half of me keeps thinking what does this matter if im with him and love him but if we are together to when i hope to hav children then that could be a problem. I want kids. He doesn't. Big problem if we want to be together as lng as he says he wants too. Forever? Or not.